MARY.: Since 1970, the Federal Witness Protection Program
has relocated thousands of witnesses,
some criminal, some not,
to neighborhoods all across the country.
Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute
distinguishing them from the rest of the general population.
And that is, somebody wants them dead.
I can't do this anymore, Jay.
Can we do this later? Please. I'm a little under the gun right now.
No, I need to know that you're going to stop.
I need to know that you have stopped.
Stopped what, Marci?
What is it that you want me to do now?
Stop seeing her! My God! When did you turn into this?
When did you become so needy?
Fine. Okay. I'll stop. I mean, I have stopped.
But she's the publicity director for the museum.
Our paths are going to cross from time to time.
You get that, right? You just need to grow up.
You're right.
You are right.
So, what are you doing?
I thought you didn't want to know about this.
I changed my mind.
Okay. I'm getting these ready to deliver to some overseas investors.
(DRILLING)
Do they belong to the museum?
No. I acquired them from a local private collection.
By "acquired," you mean stole?
Good God. Look, just focus on this, okay?
I mean, these are worth two and a half million,
of which our take is ten percent.
Now, if I do not get these ready and off to the harbor in the next half hour,
some very bad people are going to do some very bad things to me.
Any more questions, Marci?
Uh, no. That should do it.
FBI. Jay Allen, you're under arrest.
So, is there anything about what we just covered you don't understand?
No. I think we've got it.
Good. What about you?
Hey! Pay attention.
Hey. What?
ls there anything about what we just covered you don't understand?
No. Good. Well, then, congratulations.
You're the first people in the history of WITSEC without questions.
Thank you. Thank you so much for saving our lives.
This is going to be great. I know it. Excuse me. I have to go to the restroom.
(WHISPERING) So, when does Kay get here?
Who's Kay, Stan?
(SHUSHlNG)
Probably best if Marci doesn't know.
You've got to be kidding me. This schmuck gets to bring his mistress into the program?
Apparently, the schmuck's got juice.
It's part of his deal with DOJ.
What about Marci's deal?
She orchestrates this whole thing, she brings them into the program,
and this is how they repay her?
Man, that's rough, even by DOJ standards.
Actually, this is how I repay her.
Shut your hole.
Come on, Stan. She thinks she's getting a fresh start with this asshole.
I can't help that.
What am I supposed to do? Smile to her face while I help him get laid?
(CLEARS THROAT) Not exactly how I would have phrased it, but, yes.
Yeah, well, I won't. I swear I'll quit my job before I'm part of any of this.
(SIGHS)
So, is there anything about what we just covered that you don't understand?
No? Good. Sign here.
MARY.: It's funny how things like mortgage payments
and a desire to not eat cat food
can get between a person and their principles.
Damn, I hate principles.
If there's one thing working in Witness Protection has taught me,
it's that people hate change.
And we all say we want to change.
Get thinner. Quit smoking. Learn to speak Portuguese.
But we don't. For better or worse, our habits define us.
We turn the pages of the same tattered script over and over.
(EXCLAIMS)
Clinging to our well-rehearsed routines like barnacles.
See? We'll have you on your feet in no time. Good as new.
Right.
And nothing rankles us more than having to learn new lines.
Listen to me. This is just a minor setback.
Lots of people tear ACLs.
I know.
Listen, I know this is a huge imposition,
and I really appreciate you... You know.
It's not an imposition. Why would you even say that?
Anyway, it will just be for a couple of days until the swelling goes down.
Then, I'll go back to my place. Raph...
It's okay. It's like you said, "This is as far as we go."
Please don't throw that in my face.
Okay? What's going on between you and me and what's going on
with your knee, they're two separate issues,
and I can only deal with one at a time.
I'm sorry. I don't want to argue.
We're not arguing. Geez.
I'm sorry, Raph. I do want to take care of you. Really.
And the rest, I just...
What?
Can we please just deal with this for now?
Sure. Good.
I've got to get to this work thing.
(DOOR OPENlNG)
What the hell are you doing here?
(SIGHS) Oh, crap.
I was invited, which is more than you can say.
Where am I supposed to watch TV?
This was a mistake. I should go.
Lie down. You're not going anywhere.
Brandi, Raph is welcome to stay as long as he wants.
So, why can't he stay in your room?
Because.
Because I don't have to explain myself to you in my own house.
Oh, good answer.
So, what? Now,we're a nursing home for washed-up Mexican pitchers?
I'm a Dominican shortstop.
Mmm.
Yeah, there's a distinction.
Put them down.
Ooh. At least they gave you the good stuff.
Brandi, I said put them down.
Ow, ow, ow! Okay, I was just going to put them in a safe place.
Okay, then. You two kids have fun.
He better not need any help going potty or whatever because I'm not doing jack.
How is that different from the way you always act?
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Well, well. Look at you. All upright and not dead. And a matching sling, even.
Bet the ladies dig that.
It's not without effect. This is fascinating.
All these works were painted on scraps of wood by a woman
who worked at the locomotive repair facility right here in Albuquerque
in the late 19th century. That's great.
How about we say our hellos, stay just long enough not to be rude,
and then get the hell out of Dodge? Deal?
What exactly is your beef with humanity?
I have no beef with humanity. It's people I can't stand.
JAY: How much cash did you bring?
(LAUGHING) I'm kidding.
Hey. Hot stuff. Can I buy you a drink?
Hey, Marci. Wow. Look at you! All pretty and glowy and...
Yeah. This is one of the best nights I've had in years.
I just feel like I have my old Jay back.
He's fun and affectionate. And the art, he's excited about art again.
That's great. I'm really happy for you.
We wouldn't have made it without you. You know that.
Those first few months, you were like the glue that kept us together.
Just call me Elmer.
Hey, girls. How about a smile?
(LAUGHS) Hey.
More beautiful than Munch's Madonna.
And you're not exactly foie gras.
Whoa! Whoa!
Ow, ow, ow! Okay, okay, okay. I'm not kissing you anymore.
Gross. Gross!
(MARCI LAUGHING) Who knows where that mouth has been?
Mmm. I do.
Do you?
All better.
On that note, I'd better go check our guests, make sure they're well lubricated.
Don't wander off.
Don't you just want to eat her up?
Today, I consider myself the luckiest man alive.
What are you on? I'm stone cold sober.
I'm healthier, happier, and wiser than I've ever been before.
Which is why I need your help.
Here we go. I knew there had to be an angle.
(WHISPERING) No.There's no angle. This is strictly straight up.
Uh-huh.
Mary, I stand before you a changed man.
At least, I want to be a better man for Marci.
She is so good and giving.
And she just deserves so much better than what she's gotten back from me.
Okay. Go pee in this glass.
I want to make things right with her, Mare.
But I cannot do that with you-know-who around.
Kay? You want to break up with Kay?
Yes. Well, actually, I'd like you to break up with Kay for me.
And however you choose to handle it is fine with me.
Just so long as you get her the hell out of Albuquerque.
And don't think I don't appreciate it.
Casper! Bill! Come here.
Would you excuse us, please?
Listen to me, you crazy bastard.
As much as I would love to stop deceiving Marci,
sticking Kay on the next plane out of here isn't that simple.
Why not? You brought her here. Now, make her go away.
Hey, I didn't bring her here, numbnuts.
I was forced against every fiber of my being to comply with your immoral request.
And now, I'm requesting that you comply
with my moral request and make her disappear.
I don't understand why you're making this so difficult.
There she is! The woman of the hour!
Again with the interruptions.
Mary, this is my patron saint, Margaret Chapman.
Margaret, this is my good friend, Mary Shepard.
Nice to meet you. And you.
Hey. Hey.
You think you're the only one here? Take that outside.
Jay, Jay, Jay. Tell me how you know Margaret.
Well, Margaret is responsible for all of this.
These paintings are in her collection.
They've been in her family for over 100 years.
Mmm-hmm.
It must be very difficult for you to part with them.
Not really. The proceeds go to charity. And besides,
I've always thought of them as rather pedestrian early American crap.
(LAUGHS) Oh. Thank God. I thought I was the only one.
Not hardly. Lovely to meet you, Mary.
And you.
Bye.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING ON TV)
(CLEARING THROAT)
You should get some water for that.
Hey, as long as you're going, could you bring me back a beer?
Oh, good God.
(SIGHS)
Clumsy and a wuss. No wonder you couldn't hack it in the pros.
(BOTTLES CLINKING)
Have you ever considered a career in the nursing profession?
I tried, but I couldn't hack the science. Or the drug screen.
But thanks so much for making me feel bad about myself.
Tell you one thing, though.
I can sure as hell do a better job than whatever retard wrapped that.
Let me see.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Maybe another time.
Relax. I used to date a guy who got stabbed. A lot.
Enjoying the show?
Oh, yeah.
Hey, tell Jay what happens if he dumps Kay and we move her out of town.
If you break up with Kay, she isn't the only one who gets moved.
You and Marci have to be relocated, too.
Well, that doesn't seem fair.
It's a reasonable alternative to having the woman scorned
give your address to the folks who want you dead.
Yeah. Oh.
So, by the way,
your program says that the artist painted her works
on planks of poplar taken from the railyards?
Yeah. So?
So, it should read planks of cottonwood,
since that is, in fact, on what they're painted.
I'm quite certain they're painted on poplar.
And I'm absolutely positive they're painted on cottonwood.
Thanks for the input, but I think I know my art.
Apparently not as well as I know my wood. Don't.
KAY: Wow.
This is some party.
Oh, isn't that...
Kay. Oh, God. We have to get her out of here.
Oh! Jay! I guess my invite got lost in the mail, huh?
ls that what happened, Jay? Kay?
What are you doing here? Jay, why is she here?
Oh, honey, honey.
Did he forget to tell you?
See, he moved me here so we could be together.
Oh!
(MARCI SHOUTING)
Now, Marci... Get off of me! Get off of me!
(MARCI AND KAY GRUNTlNG)
Marci, no! Marci. Let me at her!
Marci. Come on.
Liar.
It's okay, baby. I'm here.
Get out of here.
What is wrong with you?
KAY: Baby...
Go!
Okay, folks. Show's over. Nothing to see here.
Go back to your champagne and mid-19th century folk art.
I'll just check on her.
MARY: Hey, Stan. It's Mary.
lmagine my surprise when Kay Swensen showed up drunk at Jay Arnstein's gallery
and got into a fistfight with Marci Arnstein.
I mean, who could have possibly predicted that deceiving a witness
by helping her husband commit adultery
with his tramp mistress would end badly?
You'd have to be a genius to see that one coming, right?
Anyway, Stan, I'll need immediate relocation authorizations. Call me. Bye.
You've got to love the ironic phone message.
Did Kay get home all right?
"All right" being a relative condition, but, yes. Pie?
This whole damn mess is my fault.
I should have just said,"Sorry, Stan. I won't be party to this,"
and accepted the consequences.
You know, it's not like I had a gun to my head.
Actually, a gun to your head wouldn't have made you any less culpable.
An immoral decision made under the duress of mortal peril
is still an immoral decision.
Understandable, yes. Forgivable, perhaps. But still definitely immoral.
I'm just saying. Anyway, they just would have gotten someone else to do it.
Eat your pie. Pie makes everything better.
It does help.
(RINGING)
House of pie. Yeah, it is.
When? Where? ls he dead? We're on our way.
Somebody shot Jay Arnstein.
MARSHALL: I need you to track down a Special Agent Frawley out of Manhattan.
Oh, God.
Jay. Jay. Jay, can you hear me?
Jay, it's Mary. Can you hear me? Who did this to you, Jay?
Just tell him our boy was shot.
I know what time it is. Just get him on the phone.
Who did this, Jay? Who did this to you? Jay!
Hey. End of the road for you.
Keep him isolated, under guard, 24l7.
Full security detail. And get the names of all attending MDs and nurses.
No one else gets near him.
I've got to move Marci.
And? And Kay. Come on.
They're both in police custody.
Arrested?
Not so far, but definitely detained.
At least they're off the street. Anything on the art-smuggler side of this?
Waiting to hear back from Frawley.
Interpol rates the European connection highly unlikely.
What's left of the smuggling ring is in prison or under surveillance.
That just leaves the American side to worry about.
Or Kay. Or Marci.
Marci didn't do this.
You don't have to convince me. But if the Albuquerque PD
doesn't share your conviction, you got a plan to get them out?
If neither are arrested, I don't need a plan. They're coming with me.
And if they are arrested?
Then, we cooperate with all local law enforcement agencies,
as is our obligation.
I do love when you talk protocol.
(WHISPERING) Watch me work.
Hey, what are you, the only cop in Albuquerque?
Marshals. Love the new uniforms.
Yeah. It's the new wave in fashion-forward law enforcement.
Mary, they are keeping me here against my will.
Will you tell this moron I have diplomatic immunity?
Kay, sweetie, I'm sure Detective Dershowitz has a very good reason
for keeping you here.
Detective, is my friend Kay under arrest?
No. Not so far. Though shooting her has crossed my mind.
Either of you want coffee?
I'm good. I would absolutely love a cup.
For future reference, diplomats have diplomatic immunity.
You're in Witness Protection and have no immunity from anything whatsoever.
Can you see the difference there?
Why don't you come on back here with me?
Mmm. Thanks. That's great.
Yeah, the sunny disposition act is about to put me in a diabetic coma.
Fine. Where's Marci?
I assume one or both of these people belong to you.
Belong to me?
Are these people protected witnesses?
I can't tell you that. We're done.
Bobby, wait. Wait.
I'll share everything I know about the events of this evening with you,
but you know I can't talk about you-know-what, so please don't ask.
All right, fine. What do you know about tonight?
Almost nothing. How about you?
Good night, lnspector.
I'm serious. I was a guest at the opening like everybody else. I saw what they saw.
So, then, you're not here in any official capacity?
Did I say that?
You know what? I don't have time for this.
You go talk to your friend, then you come back and see me.
The other one's in there.
You really made me work for it this time. I respect that.
Marci.
What happened?
ls Jay dead?
No.
He's in surgery.
Listen. What happened? Did you shoot Jay?
(SNIFFLING) No, of course not. When can I see him?
Not for a while until we know who shot him.
The police think I did it. They took my dress for evidence.
You were supposed to be my friend.
You knew about her all along. You brought her here.
Marci, whatever you think about me, I absolutely deserve.
But listen to me, if the police like you for this shooting,
I'm the best friend you've got right now.
So, please tell me what happened so I can help you.
(SIGHING)
I was at the front of the gallery,
and then I heard a shot come from the back office.
And I screamed and I ran back.
And Jay was on the floor and he was covered in blood.
Was Jay having any problems with anyone? Maybe someone at the party?
There was some guy there who was smoking
and I thought, under the circumstances, Jay seemed unusually hostile.
I don't know. I don't know who that would be or...
I'm not involved in the gallery business.
Okay.
Try to hold on, okay?
I'm going to get you out of here.
Oh, God.
I'm telling you, Bobby, she's incapable of this.
Really? 'Cause she just found out about his mistress,
she was covered in his blood, and she's got no alibi.
ln this business, that's the trifecta.
Okay. Well, then, why haven't you arrested her?
Because we haven't found our murder weapon,
and my D.A. doesn't like circumstantial cases.
Then, I'm putting her and Kay into protective custody.
(LAUGHS) You know, technically,
I don't need the D.A.'s approval to arrest her.
And technically, if they're here, I'm here. Every waking minute,
sticking my federally authorized nose into every aspect of your investigation.
ls that what you want?
I need to know where they're being kept at all times.
You know I can't do that.
(SIGHS) Jesus, you've got to give me something.
How about this? If you issue the arrest warrant, I will turn her over to you.
And you'll make both of them available for further questioning.
Deal. Deal?
It's a good thing you're hot.
You think I'm hot?
Damn, girl, you didn't know?
Thank you.
There will be a security team posted in the parking lot at all times.
No. No. See, I have life-threatening allergies.
Dust, pollen, smoke, dander, all of which seem to be coating
every inch of this room.
God. I can already feel my throat swelling shut.
Here. These are items I will need from my home
if I'm expected to survive these conditions.
"Hypo-allergenic sheets, humidifier, gin."
Cigarettes? I thought you were allergic to smoke.
Good point.
Smokeless ashtray.
Oh, boy.
Okay, thanks.
He's in lCU. The doctor said the next 24 hours will tell.
Please. You've got to take me to him.
I will as soon as it's safe. But I need the keys to your house and the gallery.
Thanks.
Marci.
I want you to know how bad I feel about this.
How bad I felt the whole time.
Oh, geez. I am so sorry.
It never occurred to me that helping my husband
cheat on me would make you feel bad.
Wow. I must be a really selfish bitch.
(EXCLAlMS)
Okay. You got my attention.
They're sliding pants.
I'll bet they are.
(HUMMlNG)
Uh-oh.
Chico, what's this?
That's nothing. Put it back.
You sly dog. Please.
Oh, my God. This is beautiful!
Who knew you actually had taste? Brandi...
Don't worry. Your secret's totally safe with me.
Unless, of course, I get my drunk on, then all bets are off.
Can you please put it away?
I will, as soon as you tell me when and how you plan on proposing to my sister.
And just a word to the wise, okay? No skywriting, no scoreboards, all right?
And whatever you do, don't put it in her food
'cause Mary hates that kind of crap.
I already asked her. You did?
Oh.
Oh, no.
Poor Chico.
MARY.: When something bad happens to a witness,
the first thing every WlTSEC inspector does
is look for how he or she might have screwed up.
Was I somehow responsible? Could I have prevented it?
If it turned out Marci Arnstein shot her husband,
I was pretty sure the answer was staring me in the face.
Your work thing run late?
Hey. Good morning.
Yeah, someone got shot, so I spent the night at the hospital.
Listen, I've got to change and head back out. Do you need anything?
No. Your sister's taking good care of me.
I'm so sorry. I'll talk to her.
I'm serious. She's been great.
Actually, she's very nurturing.
Look at the job she did wrapping my knee.
Really? Wow. Mmm.
Good. I'm glad.
Go back to sleep.
It's about time. I was up all night, itching and wheezing.
I hope this fills the void.
What is that supposed to mean?
Hey! Hey!
Hey, don't you get all enigmatic with me, all right?
You are just a civil servant. A mailman with a gun!
What void?
(CAR BEEPS)
MARY.: The first rule of police work is,
"When in doubt, review the crime scene. "
Okay, truth is, I have no idea what the first rule of police work is.
But if memory serves, it has something to do
with keeping your shoes polished to a glossy sheen.
Jesus, Marci. What are you, moonlighting as a janitor?
(DOOR OPENlNG)
U.S. Marshal. Freeze!
(SIGHS)
Hi.
You know you're contaminating my crime scene, right?
Let me tell you something. I know how to process a crime scene.
Oh, yeah? Then, where are your booties?
Yeah. That's what I thought. You don't even know about booties.
I know about booties. Uh-huh.
Put these on.
You carry extra booties?
So, does your reexamining of the crime scene mean
you've changed your mind about Marci's guilt?
I never made up my mind in the first place. If I did, she'd be in jail.
I'm glad to hear you're at least considering other options.
Doesn't mean I won't be stunned if it turned out she didn't do it.
Whoa. You found something?
Whoa.
MARY: Yeah, right?
BOBBY: You think that's drawn to proportion?
Maybe that's one of those perspective things, where the objects in front
appear larger than the ones in back.
Yeah, that's probably it.
I've seen this guy before.
Who? Mr. Anaconda?
No. Him.
He was at the party.
Marci said she didn't know him or anyone else there.
Hmm.
(GLASS BREAKlNG)
(FlRE ALARM RINGING)
(EXCLAlMS)
No!
(ELECTRlClTY CRACKLlNG)
Please tell me that you know what key opens that door.
Okay, what is taking you so long? Can't you go any faster?
I could, but then I'd miss the fun of watching you lapse into hysteria.
(STAMMERlNG) Okay, I'm not hysterical, okay?
I am baking. There is a difference.
Damn it! I lost my place.
Okay, I'm going to shoot the lock. Look out.
No, no, no, no! Don't do that. That only works in the movies.
You're more likely to jam the deadbolt in place. Damn it!
Please tell me you didn't lose your place again.
Six thousand frigging keys and not one of them opens the back door?
Good God, woman. What are you doing?
Look out, out there!
(BOBBY COUGHING)
I guess that does work.
(MARY COUGHlNG)
Just thought I'd let you know, these are definitely Molotov cocktails.
You're very lucky.
Thanks for the update, Captain.
No problem.
Anyway, I think we can assume that the shooting and arson are connected.
Well, that eliminates Marci. She's under 24-hour protection.
Unless she had an accomplice. Someone who she lied about even knowing.
(SIGHS) Oh, Marci. What did you do?
(SHOWER RUNNlNG)
Hey, what are you doing to this poor guy?
He's been here two days, and you haven't spent two minutes with him.
MARY: I've been working. He understands.
And by the way, none of your business.
Uh, really, Mary? Does he understand?
Where did you get that?
I robbed his house. It was in his suitcase. Where do you think I got it?
(TURNS OFF SHOWER)
You robbed his suitcase?
No, you nitwit. I was putting his stuff away.
Yeah, well, don't read too much into it.
And how come you're so concerned with Raphael all of a sudden?
Because while you've been running around with God-knows-who
doing who-knows-what, I've gotten to know him a little better, and...
And what?
And I've come to see that he's not totally terrible.
I'm happy to hear that. And thanks for helping out.
But, well, I don't know what I want,
except that I don't want to discuss it with you.
I don't know, you better figure it out soon,
'cause someone that great, or whatever, isn't going to wait around.
Lunch!
Wait.
What is this?
Chicken salad on a baguette with garlic aioli.
You're welcome.
Explain the void remark.
I think you know.
Come in.
Don't just draw body parts, people.
Find the subject's essence.
Find it? I almost tripped over it.
This is a private class.
We'd like a word.
What's he make an hour? Or does he charge by the foot?
(STUDENTS GlGGLlNG)
Stay focused, class.
What can I do for you?
Maybe you don't remember. We met at the opening last night.
You're right. I don't remember you.
Where were you two hours ago?
Right here, working on a project.
Are you sure you don't remember me?
I was wearing this killer little black number.
I looked hot.
Can anyone corroborate that?
Yeah. Plenty of people.
I meant his alibi. Oh.
No. Why would they need to?
Well, because that is when someone torched Arnstein's gallery.
Why would I set fire to an art gallery?
Don't know. How do you know Jay Arnstein?
I didn't before last night.
That's interesting. He seemed to have a strong dislike for you.
Any explanation for that?
None whatsoever.
What about Marci Arnstein?
I wouldn't know her if she fell on me.
Funny, 'cause she drew this.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, yes. Marci. Not much of an artist.
Better at other things.
Why did you say you didn't know her?
A gentleman likes to keep those things to himself.
Especially when a married woman's reputation is at stake.
What are these? Are these Doric, Byzantine, something like that?
Actually, they represent a synthesis of Classical Greek and Native American.
They're really quite beautiful. Powerful.
Mmm. Alive.
Yes.
It's almost human.
Yes. Yes. That's exactly the point.
Mmm.
Yeah, I can almost feel its pulse.
What kind of wood is this?
Cottonwood.
(EXHALES)
(LAUGHS) Wow.
Sorry. Dizzy. Would you excuse me?
I'm just going to step outside and get some air.
(EXHALES)
(SOFTLY) What a magical place this is.
But can't you...
Can't you at least allow for the possibility that I'm the one
that's supposed to be with Jay, not her?
(SNIFFLING) That ours is the true, pure love?
Nope. Not possible. Our universe seeks order.
And I'm afraid, in this situation, you represent entropy.
I don't want to represent entropy.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Excuse me.
Hey, what's up? I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Hey, how sure were you those paintings were done on cottonwood?
I grew up playing in a stand of cottonwoods. It's a deciduous wood.
Quite strong, but at the same time, much lighter than, say, an oak.
So, if the artist actually did paint on poplar, you would conclude...
The gallery paintings are fakes. Anything else?
No. That's it for now. Thanks, Poindexter.
Rock steady.
That's it. Let it out. This is tough stuff we're doing.
You're right, you know? You're right.
I should have never stepped in the middle of someone else's marriage.
And with the onset of wisdom comes transformation.
I should have insisted he get a divorce.
Well, I don't think that's quite the direction that we want to...
Make love to me, Marshall.
Okay. I can see we've still got some work to do.
What happened, Marci?
The thing with Vidonne was a huge mistake.
It was a weak moment at the lowest point in my life.
I find myself in Albuquerque with no friends,
a husband that will barely speak to me...
I just wanted some human contact, some tenderness.
(SIGHING) lnstead, I got Vidonne Guzonne.
And why should l believe you now?
I know you only know the lying, cheating Jay,
but when I met him, he was the nicest,
the most interesting, most intelligent man I'd ever met.
And that's the man I thought I was getting back.
Shoot Jay?
I'd rather cut off my own legs.
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
Marci Arnstein, you're under arrest.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you.
Let's go.
So, this is how we see it.
You and Marci were going to rip Jay off and split with the money.
But then Jay found out, Marci shot him,
and you came back later to burn the evidence.
lnteresting theory. Should I sign it?
It could be worth something someday.
You think it's a joke, huh?
Excuse me. Look.
That's it, Vidonne. Marci just confessed and sold you out.
ls this the part where I'm supposed to break down and tell you everything?
That would be helpful. You've been watching too much Law & Order.
Yeah, he has a point.
And what's this? A written confession?
Look, we know you forged those paintings.
The originals were done on poplar,
the ones in the gallery were on cottonwood, your favorite medium.
Please, I wouldn't dirty my brushes
forging that pedestrian early American crap.
What did you just say?
You called the paintings "pedestrian early American crap."
Sorry. Didn't know you were a fan.
Can I have a word, please?
How dare you jack my interrogation.
Get over yourself. Marci didn't do it. I'm sure of it.
Oy, God. Listen to me, Bobby.
ln order for Vidonne or anyone else to make credible fakes,
they would have needed access to the originals, right?
I guess. So, who gave him access?
Marci. When?
The paintings only got to the gallery days before the opening.
Okay. So, maybe Jay was in on it too, and got greedy at the last minute.
Or maybe he found out about the affair and things got ugly.
I don't think so. Jay was turning his life around.
He's not in the frame of mind to pull off a scam like this.
But there is another person who could have commissioned Vidonne
to forge those paintings.
Hi, this is Mary Shepard. Jay's friend? We met at the gallery?
Right. Hi.
Yeah. Well, I'm sorry to call so late,
but I have some amazing news I knew you'd want to hear.
Well, they've arrested Jay's wife, Marci, for the shooting.
I know. I know.
Yeah, but wait, here's the best part.
Jay woke up briefly and asked for you.
Well, no, he's sleeping now, but I have to go. You should come by.
The doctors say it would be good for him.
It's no problem at all. Right, then. Bye-bye.
Lying comes easily to you, doesn't it?
Jay? Jay, can you hear me? Jay.
Oh, Jay. l...
I just want you to know that I feel terrible about this whole mess.
It's just that I can't go to jail.
Anyway, um...
I'm sorry.
I really hope that this doesn't hurt.
(JAY SHUDDERING) Okay, okay, okay.
(EXCLAIMING)
(WHEEZING)
Help! Please! Somebody! Something's wrong with Jay!
Hi, there. What you doing?
(STAMMERlNG)
Something's wrong with Jay. He started shaking and... And... And...
I'm so glad you're here, 'cause you can...
Yeah, I think it was the poison you injected into my lV.
It's very photogenic.
I'm really glad you could come.
(SIGHS)
MARY.: Newton's first law of motion states,
"Objects in motion tend to remain in motion. "
Y'all drive home safely.
MARY.: We are all objects in motion,
unwavering from our course until acted upon by external forces.
So, how does an upstanding citizen like Margaret Chapman
suddenly become a forger, a murderer, and an arsonist?
Easy. Her husband died and all his creditors came calling.
So, she commissioned Vidonne Guzonne to copy her art,
the idea being to burn the gallery, collect on the insurance,
and sell the real paintings to a private overseas collector.
Would have worked, too, if Johnny Cottonwood here
hadn't tipped Jay off to the forgeries.
Good night, Stan.
You know, you really don't have to do this.
When we speak of cleansing, it's figurative.
More metaphorical than an actual soap and water deal.
Yeah, well, I tend to take things literally.
MARY.: And it was that same Marshall,
an agent of universal order with uncommon insight into human frailty,
that blasted Kay Swensen off her lifelong self-involved path
and out of the Witness Protection Program.
What's that?
Oh, it's pictures Jay took.
MARY.: As for Jay Arnstein, he was an amoral user of people,
a heartless cad, a chiseler, a skinflint.
And then a remarkable thing happened.
Jay Arnstein was hit with the stark, graphic realization
that he had caused the one true, pure, constant in his life,
his North Star,
the thing that allowed him to see the good in himself,
to stray from her path.
It was Marci's infidelity that made Jay so determined
to change, to be a better man.
And in the strange, twisty way of cause and effect,
it was the shared secret Jay and Marci kept from each other of her infidelity
that opened Marci's heart to forgiveness,
and allowed them to move on together to another city and another second chance.
And for others, it will take more than a bullet
or infidelity or financial ruin to effect change.